Fat Little Asian Kid: Ooooohhh, new kid dropped an HBO word! Steve: Picture everyone naked. Malloy: Is that what fucked your face up? Kids: Oooooooh. A-As a-As a ranger, f-f-f-f-fire safety is important. Kids: OOOOOOHHHH! Fat Little Asian Boy: Oh, snap! He said pork ranger! That's a play on words, yo! And it means he's FAT! Steve: Uh. Steve: Uh, Okay,, I-I'm ran-ranger, uh, Steve and I-I'm gunna tell you all about being a-a park ranger. Imagining the audience naked really doesn't work for me. You know what? I think I'm gunna like school. Then I'm gunna take your girlfriend and when you have nothing left, I'm going to kill you. Kids: Oooooohhh! Fat Little Asian Boy: EITHER HE CALL HIM GAY OR HE GOT FEAR OF COMMITMENT! Malloy: Listen, buddy. Kids: Ooooooohhhhh! Fat Little Asian Boy: THAT'S THE WORST TOWN I EVER HEARD OF! Colette: My boyfriend is so funny. Kids: Oooooohhhh! Fat Little Asian Boy: THINK ABOUT HOW UGLY THAT MEANS HE IS! Bully: You're also mayor of Diarheeatown. Stupid homos wanna get married, am I right? I was talking about the uh, fudge packers. So, how 'bout those Packers, this week? Hubert: Packers? Football season doesn't start for five months. Lucy: Well, which is it? You do brain surgery on gynecologists or gynecology on supermodel brain surgeons? Connie. What do you do for a living? Ethel: Brain surgeon. Malloy: Uuuuuuhhhhhh, I can hear my blood. It's so nice they hired the mentally challenged. Steve: Welcome to Brickleberry National Park! Lucy: Thank you. Treating me like I'm a Mexican or something.Įthel: Oh, where am I gunna find a husband? Ugh, and I need a kid! Ethel: Hey, psst! Little boy! Do you want some candy? Ethel: Gotchya! Little Boy: AAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP DADDY! Daddy: GET AWAY FROM MY KID! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!? Ethel: I WANT YOUR SON BAD! I'VE GOT MONEY! Daddy: LEAVE HIM ALONE, FREAK! Ethel: No! Wait! YOU CAN JOIN IN AND PLAY MY HUSBAND! PLEEEE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HEASE!!! Malloy. Where am I gunna find a husband? Denzel: Oh, racist-ass bitch. Ethel: Woody? Woody: NO! Ethel: Malloy? Malloy: I'm literally an animal. Retard: Iiiiii like vagiiiiina!Įthel: One of you could pose as my husband! Ken, would you do the honors? Ken: I'd love to, baby- UUUUUUUGH! Nevermind. It's been a while since I've fed my dark passenger. For a hundred bucks I can make that wish come true. Ethel: That's because I've been trying to wish her out of my life. Guy: ĭenzel: I didn't know you had a sister. I'll bend you over and I- Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-oh-oh-oh-OH- UUUUUGH! Okay, done. Why don't you come over now and I'll make it up to you. Steve: I am a park ra-a- Malloy: I think the kids are gunna love it.Įthel: Sorry I'm late. Wait, no it's not! Wait, is it? Ah, shoot! Malloy: He is awful at literally everything. Steve: Yes, my name is Hanukkah jizz-tonsil. Good morning boys and girls, my name is- Woody: Hanukkah jizz-tonsil. Steve: Guys could you keep it down? I'm trying to practice my speech of Stephanie's school. Connie: I'm gunna kill you one day, Malloy. Woody: What the hell are you two idiots up to? We've had three snake attacks, a camper vandalized a moose, AND I FOUND A HUMAN HEAD IN THE FIREPIT! Malloy: Did you say human? Ah, I was hoping it was Connie's. Ken: Oh, baby, I'm gunna make love to you all ni- I-I-I-I-KIKIKAAAH. Retard: Iiiiii like vagiiiiina! Klansman: Hmmm, is this kosher?Įthel: I'm hitting the age where I'd like to have kids. Ahahaha, kidding! I'd love to make a hammock out of your skin.
ANYTHING! Ethel: I KNOW!Įthel: Why do I have such bad luck with men? Connie: Maybe you've just been dating the wrong people. Connie: ANYTHING! Ethel: Got it! Connie: No, no. Quotes Denzel: If these motherfuckers have a baby, I'm hitting that bitch with a brick.Ĭonnie: I'd do anything for you, Ethel. Meanwhile, Steve falls in love with a woman who looks exactly like him ( Stephanie Bridges) and asks Denzel for help against his glossophobia (fear of speaking in public). Connie goes in drab and pretends to be her husband, Connor and Malloy, against his own will is shaved bald and passed off as a human boy.Įthel uses Connie and Malloy as her faux husband and son to show up her sister. Ethel's overachieving bitch of a sister comes into town and on impulse, Ethel lies about having a husband and son.
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